Blessed Be Your Name....

My son ,his wife, and four of my grandchildren have been full time missionaries for about 8 years. I think that I am finally used to the idea that they live so far away, but there are times that I really miss them. I hate not being able to pick up a phone and see how their day is gong. I hate that I don't know what they need, and that it is so expensive to send it if I do know. I hate that I can't see my grandchildren when I feel like it, and that they don't know me like my others here in the states do, but I'm thankful for e-mail and that I don't have to rely on snail mail. I'm thankful that they have a good mail system in Vanuatu and that everything I do send gets to them. I'm thankful that even though my grandchildren are so far away they can still know me it just takes more time and effort on my part.

I hate that they live such a hard life. They have no electricity, and no refrigeration. They are subject to diesese and illness that we can easily treat here. The truck they have constantly is breaking down, probably because the "nightmare road" into the village is so hard on it. It is expensive and time consuming to maintain, but I am thankful that they even have a truck ,and it is better than the last old jeep they had which had no seats or roof and very little floor.

I love that they are serving our Lord and Saviour full time. I love that my son loves God's Word as much as I do, and that he is translating it so that others who would not have it in their language now will. It is God's Word that will change their lives. I believe that with all my heart.

I just have mixed feelings about their service.

I felt guilty for years and always wondered if I was the only parent who struggled. I thought maybe I was not "being holy enough" that having a missionary son should be every christian moms dream, and I should not be conflicted.

One day as I was struggling in prayer over my feelings a word came to me over and over and it was "bittersweet."
Being the Bible teacher that I am I looked it up. The definition was SWEET WITH A BITTER AFTERTASTE.
That was exactly the way I felt so much sweetness, but always a sadness to go along with it.
It is okay for me to have mixed feelings. It is okay for me to sorrow over them being so far away, while rejoicing in their victories.
It's okay........

My desire is to be able to say to my God, Lord Blessed Be Your Name.
To say it both in the sorrow, loss, missing, hurt or fear, Lord, Blessed Be Your Name.
Or in the victories, growth, good changes and love shared.Lord, Blessed Be Your Name.

My desire with this blog is to connect with other missionary parents. We can hopefully share feelings, prayers, and practical ideas with how to stay connected with our missionary children and grandchildren.

"The LORD gave and the LORD had taken away
Blessed be the name of the Lord." Job 1:21b