Sorrow is better than laughter, because a sad face is good for the heart. Ecc.7:3

Today this was in my devotional STREAMS IN THE DESERT, BY L.B. COWMAN
I thought it was so appropriate to POMs and our Missionary families that I had to share some of it with you.

" Sorrow, under the power of divine grace performs various ministries in our lives. Sorrrow reveals unknown depths of the soul, and unknown capacities for suffering and service. Lighthearted, frivolous people are always shallow and are never aware of their own meagerness or lack of depth. Sorrow is God's tool to plow the depths of the soul,that is may yield richer harvests. If humankind were still in a glorified state, having never fallen, then the strong floods of divine joy would be the force God would use to reveal our souls capacities; But in a fallen world, sorrow, yet with despair removed, is the power chosen to reveal us to ourselves. Accordingly, it is sorrow that causes us to take the time to think deeply and seriously.

Sorrow makes us move more slowly and considerately and examine our motives and attitudes. It opens within us the capacities of the heavenly life, and it makes us willing to set our capacities afloat on a limitless sea of service for God and for others."

My prayer would be that through these sorrows and losses, we would learn and grow into the people whose lives would bring honor and glory to our God.

Blessings to all of you...Thank you for your prayers for my grandchildren...I haven't heard how they are, but no news is good news at this point... I will let you know.

The holiday is over.
Christmas was not as hard as Thanksgiving this year without the kids.
I am not sure why. It seems like sometimes I feel so sad and
other times not.

My kids left about 9 years ago for Vanuatu. I never questioned their
desire to serve God in the mission field or their commitment to translation.
even though I knew that their commitment would keep them away
for a very long time.
I knew that I could never stand in the way of God's calling.
But I did question my feelings of sadness and pain over their going.
Some times were and still are harder than
others. The first holiday was very
hard. Having my fourth grandchild leave at only 5 weeks was very hard.
Having Michele sick when she left was very hard.
Having my only granddaughter
thousands of miles away was and still is very hard.

I recognized that sometimes the Christian walk is bittersweet.
Good and bad, happy and sad, and I know that it is the difficult things that
God uses to mature us, teach us,and even disipline us.

During these times I have tried to respond in faith. Faith that God knows all and I can trust Him. Faith that He loves both me and my children and grandchildren.
Faith that nothing happens to me or mine that doesn't pass through His fingers of
love.

Having said all this I was so blessed when I read in "Parents of Missionaries"
that Grief is the label I can put on these feelings.
Grief is what I have experienced. Grief, yes that feels right to me.

No wonder that I have always loved the verse in Isaiah 53:3 that describes Jesus as one aquainted with grief. I like to think that He is my grief bearer.

Blessed Be Your Name....

My son ,his wife, and four of my grandchildren have been full time missionaries for about 8 years. I think that I am finally used to the idea that they live so far away, but there are times that I really miss them. I hate not being able to pick up a phone and see how their day is gong. I hate that I don't know what they need, and that it is so expensive to send it if I do know. I hate that I can't see my grandchildren when I feel like it, and that they don't know me like my others here in the states do, but I'm thankful for e-mail and that I don't have to rely on snail mail. I'm thankful that they have a good mail system in Vanuatu and that everything I do send gets to them. I'm thankful that even though my grandchildren are so far away they can still know me it just takes more time and effort on my part.

I hate that they live such a hard life. They have no electricity, and no refrigeration. They are subject to diesese and illness that we can easily treat here. The truck they have constantly is breaking down, probably because the "nightmare road" into the village is so hard on it. It is expensive and time consuming to maintain, but I am thankful that they even have a truck ,and it is better than the last old jeep they had which had no seats or roof and very little floor.

I love that they are serving our Lord and Saviour full time. I love that my son loves God's Word as much as I do, and that he is translating it so that others who would not have it in their language now will. It is God's Word that will change their lives. I believe that with all my heart.

I just have mixed feelings about their service.

I felt guilty for years and always wondered if I was the only parent who struggled. I thought maybe I was not "being holy enough" that having a missionary son should be every christian moms dream, and I should not be conflicted.

One day as I was struggling in prayer over my feelings a word came to me over and over and it was "bittersweet."
Being the Bible teacher that I am I looked it up. The definition was SWEET WITH A BITTER AFTERTASTE.
That was exactly the way I felt so much sweetness, but always a sadness to go along with it.
It is okay for me to have mixed feelings. It is okay for me to sorrow over them being so far away, while rejoicing in their victories.
It's okay........

My desire is to be able to say to my God, Lord Blessed Be Your Name.
To say it both in the sorrow, loss, missing, hurt or fear, Lord, Blessed Be Your Name.
Or in the victories, growth, good changes and love shared.Lord, Blessed Be Your Name.

My desire with this blog is to connect with other missionary parents. We can hopefully share feelings, prayers, and practical ideas with how to stay connected with our missionary children and grandchildren.

"The LORD gave and the LORD had taken away
Blessed be the name of the Lord." Job 1:21b