Meet Bob....

One day Joel and I went to the grocery. We were all alone, it was early and he was fascinated by all the food.

"Can I have a chocolate donut grandma?"
"No problem of course you can. "

We went on to find chocolate milk, and" round colored balls" that really were cereal.
Traveling to the check out we came across the toy section.
We found a bear...with a soccer ball?
Joel was delighted because he knows what soccer is since they play it where he lives, and this bear was really special because he had a coat and hat.
"Can I have him grandma?"
Not willing to stop the joy I responded,
"Of course, but you have to name him. "
Without hesitating Joel said, " BOB".
The remainder of the week he hung out with Bob, and shared him with whoever would look, but in the end he had to leave Bob because there was no room in the suitcase.

I have been doing good since they left...
I washed the little white socks, and put them away
I cleaned up the crushed gold fish in my car...
and I put away the little blue coat....

But this morning...this morning I came across Nemo in my DVD player..I bought it just for him.
I found a little plastic dog in my brief case that we had played with at the hospital...and then...... I found BOB.

A wave of sorrow washed over me,and it paralyzed me for a minute or two.
I know that it is grief tugging at my heart, and I fell to my knees.

GOD.....then peace began to surround the sorrow that gripped my heart, and
as I let it in I found rest and comfort so that my grief was set aside while I begin to think of my
many blessings....

Thank You LORD, for the time we had together, and the memories made.
Thank You LORD, for the many blessings and the answered prayers.
Thank You LORD, for the finished book of Luke, this month.

Thank You LORD, that You understand this POM

Then I got up and continued on with my clean up...
God is Good

First Things First....

Joel left for Vanuatu when he was 2 months old. I remember cuddling him and thinking that when I saw him again he would be walking and talking, and it was true, the next time I saw him he was 18 months old in Vanuatu. He was talking and running.

This trip was his first time back to the USA. He experienced many new things. He took most of these experiences in stride. Over the week there were a few things that seemed to give him pause and he reacted strongly.

"Eehh, Eehh," he kept repeating. What is that noise, Grandma?"
It took us a minute to realize what he was so fascinated about...
" It is a car horn," said Michele.
"Does daddy have a horn?"
"He probably does, but it doesn't work."
" Do you want to hear Grandma's horn?" I asked.
"Yes, Yes," he responded wiggling in his car seat.
Over the next few days he would make his noises in the back seat , and I would respond by honking my horn much to his delight.

Taking him to the department store without a cart to restrain him was a challenge. Once in the front door, he took off and I found myself in hot pursuit just trying to keep up with him.
Suddenly he stopped abruptly in front of a sparkling red artificial tree.
"What is that?" he asked.
He had never seen a Christmas tree before.
Starting from the bottom he touched every ball and branch that he was able to reach.
While Michele shopped, he stopped at every tree throughout the store, touching each one.

We were going out the door when the mannequin in the ladies department caught his eye.
He ran up to her and peered under her dress, and then looking up to her head he gasped in horror.
"She has no head, Grandma. They cut off her head."
Funny I hadn't even noticed. Who needs a head when you are wearing a Vera Wang designer dress?

One day we were in the drive thru at McDonald's. It was taking a while when Joel asked,
" What are we doing Grandma?"
" This is a drive thru. We pay at the first window, and then at the second window we get my coffee and your chocolate milk."
He didn't say anything until later in the afternoon when he told his Grandpa all about the windows and getting his chocolate milk.

A few days later I found myself trying to explain to him why Wendy's only had one window instead of two. He accepted the difference once he realized that he would still get his french fries if they only had one window.

He liked the zoo, he talked about the big big lion for days. He seemed especially impressed by the carousel with the tiger that went up and down when he sat on him.
There were many many "American Firsts" for Joel.

I had to chuckle when I got an e-mail from Michele upon her arrival in Vanuatu.
"Joel is already American, we were doing our errands and he was hot and thirsty. He wanted me to stop and buy him a coke! He never would have asked that 2 weeks ago. He would have asked for a coconut or water."

Hmm...and I was concerned how he would respond...

God is close to the broken hearted. ....

Okay I admit it the awesome 4 year old was right. I finally cried.
I didn't cry going through the grocery store this time, but I had to take some deep deep breathes as I went by the chocolate milk and the fruit loops.

It has been to painful to vacuum up the smooshed gold fish in the back seat of my car, but I didn't cry, I just ignored the mess.

I didn't cry when I found those little white socks in the hallway. I've been stepping over them...Maybe I will wash them tomorrow.

Then today,I finally cried on the way home from water aerobics. Last time I was there Joel was with me. We swam together after my class.

I'm okay...just a little sad.
Felt good to cry...
I treated myself to a Pumpkin latte, and regrouped.

Maybe I will feel like cleaning up the gold fish tomorrow.

My Ways are not Your Ways...

Today I find a pair of tennis shoes
A tiny pair of socks in the hallway,
Two monster trucks on the table,
Red sweats and a shirt in the living room...

"Grandma, are you going to cry?" Joel asked me as he snuggled in my lap
two days before his departure.
"Why do you think I am going to cry?" I asked.
"Cause you love me and you will miss me when I go home," he responded innocently.

How can a 4 year old be that perceptive?

Well today, he is on his way home...probably arriving in Fiji as I write this, but
Truth be known that after two weeks of non stop doctors appointments,
shopping,
sight seeing,
eating, and packing.
I am to exhausted to cry, and at the same time my heart is to full and
happy to cry.

Twice, in two years God has allowed me to participate in helping
my son's family with medical issues. These times have allowed me the
opportunity to get to know them better and for them to know
me better. We laughed together, cried together, and prayed together.
I don't know why these things happen. It's expensive and stressful
to come all the way back to the USA for treatment.

Maybe it's the enemy. We all talk about that possibility, but
what I know for sure is that what the devil may mean for evil God can
use for good. We don't need to understand completely.
Instead, I am thankful because we are a blessed family.
I am reminded again that God's way is not my way...
So today, I will give Him my exhausted trust, and thanks.

They should be arriving back in Vanuatu very soon probably
very exhausted....

Updates.....

I tell you...really and truly and its not just cause I'm his adoring grandmother, but this boy is so cute.
"Joel you are so cute," I said this morning.
"No grandma, I'm just funny," he responded.
I've been so blessed to spend this time with him and his mommy.

Some updates: Joel's test results came back very good. There is no sign of the infection and no sign of any damage from the previous infection. Not sure what is causing his symptoms, but for now we are very thankful and will wait and see what develop.

Got my skirts all finished...I made 23... I am sending them back with Michele. They are so cute
hoping for a group picture.

Lord willing and if the snow doesn't pile to high they will be leaving tomorrow for their South Pacific Island....They are missed at home...Praying for a safe and easy trip.

I will share more later about the week and my feelings. For now I'm going to enjoy the last day with my grandson. He is playing the tool boy right now :)